Dear Guests,
Today, unlike all days in my memory, I woke up without the personal need to make music. In fact, I'm absolutely astonished to discover that I can in my deepest heart of hearts feel a clarity which reveals that I can live happily ever after without creating another note! Yesterday, that was incomprehensible. Historically, making music was necessary like breathing, sleeping, my very well being and happiness depended on it, it wasn't a choice, it was a must.
What happened?
Historically, I would make music for other people - A Rose for Shahida - A Rose for Zaynab - A Rose for Jeannette - many many other pieces with usual and unusual names for many other people. When I composed music for others, the underlying principle for me was to create a bridge for them to their deepest well being. Music was medicine. It was just a dish to serve love, it wasn't about the dish, it was about the serving.
Yesterday I wrote a piece for myself. "A Rose for Samia". For me, it wasn't about the music - the audible dish - it was about the love being served on it as medicine for myself. A prayer if you will.
Well, it seems to have worked, because now ironically I have received what I've needed to receive after all these years from music. A bridge to not need or require music to connect with a universal love. My love for music has always really been my love of where it takes me spiritually, a bridge to exaltation, a bridge "towards the one". This piece is for me, the bridge that took me to the other side so well, I no longer need to create more for myself.
Will I still make music?
Of course!
I will make music out of celebration and love not out of need.
What a day.
Now, I feel truly musically yours,
Kathryn
P.S. (This piece, is deeply influenced and inspired by the Sufi practice called "Shaghall".)