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Dear Guests, Welcome to my blog which I treat like a creative garden where I regularly plant and change this and that be it poetry, philosophy, an Oboe Brilliance lesson, an essay of some kind, or a journal about composing. Visit every Monday for oboe coaching which is also helpful for many melodic instrumentalists. Musically yours, Kathryn
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"How do you compose?" That is the most commonly asked question I hear.
This blog is a window into my creative process and philosophies as a composer and instrumentalist. At times it may contain music, photos, and poetry as well. May you enjoy, return, and benefit!   My Archives  September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009
beyond objectification
intellectual and creative freedom A rose for Zaynab/ and Sufism to the dance The purpose of art Lamentations - when my armor broke away The 5 step focus About the "In adoration of the earth" music How my life review during a near death experience influences my composing My philosophy about intruments especially the trombone "Celestial Light Ringing" In adoration of the earth Dreams of the White Horse About the music currently on the home page composing as swimming through emotions Emotional vitality through musical medicine learned by giving birth Oboe Suite Inspiration June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 |
As a little girl it was easy to understand that people have feelings for animals. I raised a couple of puppies, and my family bred dogs. It was also easy to recognize that the dogs had feelings for one another. Puppies had relationships with their siblings and mother. Puppies got emotional. Their mother got emotional too.
It was obvious that animals have emotions for people and other animals. It was obvious that people have feelings for other people and animals. I objectify animals less when I recognize how people and animals share similar. It is easy to relate to animals. What I learned about dogs is that they love their offspring, they often love one another unless they are territorial - just like people, they like to eat, play, rest, and enjoy life. Like people they feel fear and want to be safe. Like people they thrive with love and appreciation. Like people, they enjoy being helpful. They love a good meal and a comfy place to lay their weary bones. They like to walk! Isn't it obvious that so many animals feel the same ways as dogs, or in similar ways appropriate to the unique circumstances for the animals? I'm writing this because I just saw an interesting utube where the comment was made that it is hard for people to relate to these animals. (in this case seals) This surprised me because i think it is VERY easy if we notice the similarities of our needs and desires. We humans are very much like seals. We eat, mate, love our offspring, want to be safe and enjoy ourselves. We want a home free of pollution!!! - oh I had to throw that in there!! What is difficult to understand? So, to tie this into composing, as I have mentioned, I have an ongoing life project called, "In adoration of the earth" . In this series I compose music in adoration of animals, and aspects of life on earth. Other blogs mention the pieces already composed in this series. One thing I LOVE to do is to compose music specifically for people to play that are in adoration of an animal that they love, or an aspect of nature. Okay, thanks for visiting. Musically yours, Kathryn
This evening I heard a loud boom. I thought it was an electrical box. Soon there after, I heard a nother, then another. Sometimes I hear a chain popping. I kept hearing more bangs and booms only sounding more life guns, very big guns.
Sometimes I do hear gun shots, or electical boxes blowing. It happens on occasion, but tongith, I kept hearing more. It sounded bad, as if someone was letting it rip. Fortunately, it was the beginning of a fireworks display at the Grove Park Inn, which I live near here in Asheville NC. Before I knew that, I experienced some interesting thoughts about how my maternal Grandparents home and stone wall which was built upon by every generation for a long time was bombed by the Nazi's. I thought about how SO many people, generations, and cultures have experienced violent violations within their own homes, killed, rounded up, because some intoleratnt bullies were exercising arrogance violently. The fire works were beautiful. In fact, very beautiful. I could see them well from my porch. I was relieved. The other day I heard a strange voice over a loudspeaker off of Charlotte Str that was a test, not a true emergency. I had never heard anything of the sort before. I'm writing to express that I feel very grateful to live in a time and place where I can explore various thought systems, theologies, philosophies and disciplines should I choose to do so. I'm writing to express the harm of expressions of intolerance. It's one thing to have personal taste, personal ideas, but to condemn or disrespect others because they do not share your taste or point of view I think is in fact violent to this precious freedom. I think to ridicule someone with a different perspective is intellectual and emotional violence. I don't think that freedom of thought and speech means it's okay to harm others verbally. I do believe it's now more important than ever to share our diverse viewpoints in a collarborative rather than adversely. Verbal disrespectful adversity preceeds physical violence, and is emotionally violent as well as intellectually violent. As people we can exchange differing beliefs, viewpoints, and such without violence or assuming for an instant one person's judgement is superior or inferior to another. If we humans really are only using an average of 2% of our brain, then I feel we have all the more reason to listen and learn from each other. Okay, so what does this have to do with composing. Well, from my perspective, everything! I'm thrilled to have the green light culturally to explore new forms of thought artistically. Yesterday (July 25th) was an exciting day for me as I explored new approaches to creating sounds sculptures, and cogitating on new ways to structure my imagination sonically on the written page as well. While there are pros and cons to being a composer in a capitalist society at this time, I can create and sell without the dictation or commission from a religious body, or political system. The "ruling class" in a capitalistic society does not have to be the mainstream all the time when it comes to music, however it is most tricky. I was first taught composition by Karel Husa, so this is a sensitive issue on my radar. Enough for now. Musically Yours, Kathryn
I've been thinking about Zaynab, who is a friend via facebook through mutual friends within the Sufi community. We've never met in person which is very weird for me. In fact, this is a first (with the exception of an attempt at being an international pen pal when I was in 5th grade). So I am being stretched with this new way of becoming acquianted with some people and I do appreciate it for that, along with appreciating how facebook is a great way to stay connected in a fun and generous way with existing friends and family. I LOVE the sharing of photo albums, (in fact soon I will buy a digital camera in order to share more), sharing of ideas, sharing of this and that as we wish. As a result I learn a lot about what the people I care about find interesting, and the people in their lives.
This is very beautiful for me and life enriching. I first joined facebook via the request of a Sufi friend and I welcomed the opportunity to connect with other people who appreciate the poetry of Rumi, the Raphaelite Work especially, the teachings of Hazrat Inayat Khan, and the Sufi perspective as introduced to me by Himayat Inayati here in WNC. What I appreciate most about Sufism - as I know it -is that it's about becoming more of who one truly is, about personal exploration and personal evolution in a way that is very open minded. Rumi writes about the Pick Axe, about shedding the adaptive self, to become more authentic. To me this is a quest about personal authenticity which equals workship of life by being more of oneself as we are all apart of One life, together as One. Personally I think that all benefit by each individual being more alive, healthier, authentic, liberated, capable, (like leaves on a tree to make the tree of life healthier) I like hearing and saying "Towards the One, the perfection of Love, Harmony, and Beauty, the only being, united with all the illuminated souls who form the embodiment of the master, the spirit of guidance". Personally, because I see life as completely interconnected, and one/One. It is the same as atheism with one difference, the addition of the belief of an interconnected aspect of divine magic/life/heaven inherent within all that does exist and also encompasses all that does not exist. (side note and briefly put) when I had my first Kundalini raise, the internal being of my body became a type of explosion of light and energy, like a popping out of it's shell, an illumination inside out, a moving of the veils into a mystical stage of the universe. Like a sun rising. A glowing of the heaven within - with blossoms out here and there within individuals, and is inherent I believe - within all life and space. That event, was a surprise, for years I saught understanding, and context with this event. I was and am most grateful to discover Sufi teachings and practices that clearly knew and understood this experience I had, and had the cultivated tools within a well preserved and ancient context to foster this reality of life, so currently foreign to a modern culture that only recognizes that which the typical limited human senses confirm within tangible perspective. Clearly Sufism understands the chakras, the various realms and ushers, nurtures, and supports these greater universal domains within human life quite beautifully. Which now brings me to the point about Zaynab. For a couple of months now I've been reading Zaynabs facebook entries, seeing her photo albums and thinking about her from time to time. I admire how she writes and shares, and how she goes about her life. It seems very sincere and beautiful to me. She seems honest and down to earth, authentic. I truly admire her. Yestersay she put up a photo of the cat that had been in her life for 14 years. That cat looks very much like the cat that adopted me a year and a half ago so in more ways now, I feel as sense of comraderie, sensitivity, connection, appreciation. Historically I understand the joy of sharing life with four legged house mate, and how there is a great missing when they are simply no longer there, snuggling on the bed, greating you at the door, enjoying outside space, and daily/nightly companionship. Their death can be a significant transition. So, I've decided to take this mp3 out of my personal collection which I think will be comforting to Zaynab, a celebration of inter connectivity, shared humanity, which I think represents much of the warmth and compassion which I sense she shares regularly herself with others. I recognize our shared humanity, sensitivity, concern and appreciation of our fellow travelers here on earth and in various planes of existance. Towards the one. This mp3 is fully uploaded to hear all of it for free, however, one can choose to purchase it to enjoy in on an ipod, or burn to cd. 100% of proceeds go the International Sufi Healing Order, and all proceeds of the "Shaghall" mp3, also go to the International Sufi Healing Order. I choose to give to the International Sufi Healing Order, because of the very open minded, tolerant, nurturing, respectful of ALL perspectives of scientific, religious, poetic, vague, searching, established, exploration of life that is rooted in mutual respect, supportive to individual, and international, interfaith, humankind social evolution. Zaynab celebrates this in how she lives. This is very beautiful and inspiring to me. Musically yours, Kathryn Potter
My life just wouldn't be the same without Miss Judy.
Miss Judy was a prematurely retired NYC ballerina - I think w/Ballenchine. She was a GODDESS among women. I studied ballet with her from age 2 to 14 and I can't thank her enough. She taught me how to move the music I felt within myself outward. From the heart out out out to the farthest reaches of the universe. Always stretching to the greatest giving, no limits, lines, curves extending from the heart. Music the nucleus of the universe. Life is a dance, ballet celebrates this completely I think Ballet is the highest artform highest music, height of human movement, lights, costumes, organization, sharing, story, everything is in the ballet sublime Finally I have enough compositional skill to compose a ballet - a couple of sketches, soon the time to dig in. If I get to the end of my rainbow without creating a body of ballet works, I will not have accomplished a critical part of my life's work. Ballet ballet ballet to the dance Thank you Miss Judy, wherever you are. I cannot thank you enough! Musically yours, Kathryn
I think that the purpose of art is
to integrate and cultivate mentality with a heart that feels more in order to live life more fully, and with more integrity. Integrity meaning to interweave the various domains of a whole being. Art uplifts the quality of life and nurishes the well being of those who partake in the art. Art and entertainment are not synomous. Art and inspiration are not synonomous. To express love in creative ways. To share inspiration creatively to celebrate life creatively to celebrate an individuals dance in life creatively to share joy creatively to create to challenge, to go beyond, stretch limits of thinking, feeling, being, to excell and maginfy life as human beings to enhance our current state and to build upon, go further Musically yours, Kathryn
I composed a four movement work for pipe organ and double bass titled "Lamentations". Right now, the fourth movement is available to hear on my works page.
This piece was a ground breaking work for me as a person and in my relationship with music. Before composing this work, everything I composed, I tried my best to make a masterpiece but failed. After over 3 decades of serious attempts at composing masterpieces I practically gave up I feared I'd never achieve fulfilling my life's purpose. I feared that I was missing something from being able to compose a true master piece - as if I lacked a vital ingrediant since I had done everything in my power thus far. Ironically I feel this piece is my first masterpiece by my personal definition. For this piece I simply composed a work that wrung my heart out when I was at my lowest and fullest point emotionally in life and wrote anyway regardless of how it would be perceived, my only job was to "keep my wheels on" by writing out what I needed to extricate. It wasn't a blossom, it was a splitting of my nut shell, a shedding of my protective layer. There is nothing new, groundbreaking, or unusual about this work from my perspective, it's very conventional except for how it's a duet for pipe organ and double bass who often sound like one voice getting lost in one another. The first movement is like the fourth but without one voice. The second is a fugue that I am proud of with some reservation in one phrase. The voicing is tricky to hear correctly so the registration and acoustics of the space have to be very carefully considered. I think this work needs to be orchestrated to really pop, sing, and to do it more justice. The third movement contains a gorgeous melody that makes up for my plethora of non melodic music and it's in E Dorian. I have a recording of it if you're curiousbut you have to ask nicely. The fourth is the return of the first with an added voice. It originally started out as a quintet for 5 double basses which I changed trying to get all the bass voices into the pipe organ for the fist movement. There was one voice remaining so I ended up adding one bass part then kept writing more movements. All movements are interwoven to some degree and the piece works best as a whole, although each movement could be performed seperately. I completed this work in 2006. My composing has been on a different level since then. Musically yours, Kathryn
One of the times in my life that flashed before my eyes during a life review, was when I created the 5 step focus. At this time I was meditating as usual as I had for the 11 years prior to this day by sitting in a half lotus and focusing my mind on my breathing and posture. On this day, I was meditating at the ocean (Smith's Point in Montauk L.I.) I was meditating for a long long time. When the tide started to return, I added to my focus (step 2) adding to my attention absolutely everything that I could hear. I listened to the waves breaking as far along the shore as I could, the sea gulls, the people far away, the whistle of the lifeguard... then (step 3) I added all that I could smell - I got a good wiff of suntan lotion and salty air as the wind increased - and breathed deeper and slower. (step 4) greater awareness to all I could sense - by this time my skin was really burning and I could feel some grains of sand digging into me, I knew that I'd have to stop and get into the water in the near future. (step 5) I continued step 4 but with my eyes open.
The ocean was shimmering, undulating and so alive. I felt completely one with the entire beach. I savoured this beauty, kept meditating with my eyes open. After a little while I got up, - kept meditating this way - and swam in the ocean. It was SO amazing. Ever since then I've been practicing and teaching this 5 step focus. Now, what interests me is that when I consider the common denominator of all the scenes from my life review that flashed before my eyes, I notice that they all are times when I am fully present and engaged savouring life - as in the above example - living with my available senses, drinking in the intoxicating magnificence of life itself in that moment - allowing myself to feel my true emotions in an unedited way - allowing myself the full joy and attention to be fully alert to stay safe. I've taught this 5 step focus to most, not all, students of all ages for the past 17 years at the start of music lessons. For the first year I did this, I only taught half, as a test. The half that did meditate remembered more, played more musically, and enjoyed lessons more. It was well worth the time it took out of lessons, to start by meditating. It also helped my students do better before performances, competitions, and tests, because it helps the student snap into the state of being of the 5th step, through excellent practice. Later in life while studying Sufism, I added the 6th step where I ask myself the questions "Who is looking through these eyes? Who is hearing through these ears? What is in my heart right now?" So, when i compose, I prefer to approach creating from the 6th step which has been how I aspire to operate all the time, and for the work to be appealing to hear from this state of being. Sometimes even in my dreams I am conscious of the 5 or 6 step focus. Musically Yours, Kathryn
Preface: The times in my childhood that helped me become an environmentalist
My foundation as an environmentalist is simple. I deeply, and sincerely love the beauty and magnificence of our planet earth. Aren't we all born with that? There is also a savage and terrifying beauty to the wild forces of our planet. The elements combined with the powers of creation, destruction, decay, nurishment, dormancy, protection and more in the persistent dance never ceases to mystify me. As a young girl I spent many hours by the Great South Bay. I would have like to be swimming in it, but the water was so polluted that, unlike the generation before me, I could not enjoy swimming or being in it because my skin would break out into a rash. This was not the case for all the children my age. But I was still aware that the water and the sea life in it was all polluted. The oysters were all but extinct and I remember eating a raw clam off the half shell (a great delight for me as a girl) for the last time because the clammers in my hometown new that it was getting too dangerous to eat them raw. Sometime clammers sold clams to restaurant owners in NYC even if they were from a "red tide" which was illegal even back then. In 1976 I remember seeing the sludge riding on the waves at Jones Beach. I remember seeing it crash onto swimmers and I feel naseous at just the memory of this. In 1983 on the day I would have graduated from HS (I graduated a year early), I went canoeing with the Suffolk County Canoe Club around Manhattan Island. After years of being a swamp, river, boundary water, and white water canoeist, I was appauled at how vile the water and how polluted NYC was. Meanwhile Times magazine was showing people swimming in the Hudson River and claiming that it was clean! I would report the pollution having been sitting and canoeing right in the river myself, and people I spoke with would allow the Times article to eclipse the reality of what I told them. In 1980 I went camping and canoeing in the Everglades as part of the Audobon Society bird count. I only went once, but I was with others who had participated before and saw how bereft they were at the dwindling numbers AND species. My dad said that he wanted me to see certain beautiful birds before they were extinct. How powerful is that? Sometime before that, let's see, 1977, I went canoeing and camping for almost 2 weeks off the grid in the boundary waters of Maine and Canada. After my ears stopped ringing - took a few days - I was able to experience life in a new way sonically and rhythmically. This experience has drastically changed my life and my perspective of life, just like the Manhattan Island paddle changed my perspective of are humans foot print. Intense earth events such as hurricanes and earth quakes certainly has influenced me. I thought I was breathing my last during the 1989 - (I think that was the year) quake in SF as my refrigerator boogied across my girating kitchen complete with shimmying cabinets and rattling china. It was as if the earth which had been solid under my feet my whole life turned into a canoe resting on top of rough water. The first week I was in SF, I enjoyed a boat ride from David, the then Pres. of the green party. I loved seeing the seals and SF from the perspective of the boat as a newcomer to the Bay Area. It was MUCH nicer than NYC!!! I adore the earth in an awestruck way. When I recall the danger of wilderness camping and the forces of nature, I am more awestruck at the survival of animals along with the savage beauty and balance in land and sea scapes. Now about my music. "Agigua" which is the oldest name I could find for the French Broad River here in NC. It is reported to be the third oldest river in the world pre dating the ice age. As I mentioned previously, I used to spend a lot of time on or by the water. This river, feels, flows, and sounds different. I'm enthralled by it, so I composed an orchestral work portraying it. "Listening to an ancient forest" is the title for my string 4tet. For professional level double bass, cello, viola, and violin. I just meditated for a long time out in an old growth forest in NC and listened very carefully. This string 4tet captures the active stillness and difference of sonic/rhythmic experience of an old growth which is vastly different than the feelings of being in the woods and most assuredly in modern life- as hopefully you know - forgive me if I write like I'm breaking news to you - I try not to assume anyone knows anything when I'm conveying something as to not skip over something important sometimes. This music sounds like nothing I've ever heard. "The secret of ravens" oboe duet series. Three are completed and have been performed. THe fourth is sketched out, more to come. - I hear 7 all told. These works are accessible. People enjoy playing and hearing them even though they are unlike what has been heard before. I am greatly complimented when people say that this music sounds like no other composer, it is unpredictable and yet it sounds like just the right thing is happening. Oh, I lOVE that! Ravens are dear to me. When I had a vision during my first Kundalini raise, I saw a raven so it is a sacred totem animal to me. These duets will go in "Oboe Brilliance". "In Adoration of the Raven" - oboe solo. I just more and more oboe music about ravens - it's my trip! "Citrakaya" this is in adoration of the Cheetah. Citrakaya is the sanskrit name for cheetah which also translates into body of light. This is for virtuosic solo oboe and like my first full orchestral piece and string 4tet, is ground breaking for me. - hmmm, now I'm thinking about that term - ground breaking - Okay, how about, is a milestone for me!! "Oboe Brilliance" "Hawk in flight" for solo double bass. Important work. Nice pizz work and bowing. Celebrates the beauty of a preditor. The destructive energy is gorgeous and has an important place in the balance of nature. I am amazed at it's beauty. I like to look down on hawks flying from high vantage points here in Asheville. Treble clef version exists too. (So I can play it on oboe.) It will be in "Oboe Brilliance". "In adoration of the Fox" oboe solo. Crafty, gorgeous, sly and cunning. It will go in "Oboe Brilliance". "Sea turtle" for beginning oboe - could be enjoyed by other instruments, I have versions in different clefs. It will go in "Oboe Brilliance". "Bald Eagle Flying" this is a 14 plus minute electronic sounds sculpture in mp3 format and I can't wait to upload it onto my website. It's 13 MB which is too much right now to upload. This is inspired by this continent, the Bald Eagle of course, and shammanic drumming. It is an active trance state piece which is extrememly important to me. If you are reading this and you'd like me to email it to you, just ask. "The Viper" another oboe solo which will be included in "Oboe Brilliance" is a piece that is snakey. Oboe begs for snakey sounds. I've seen quite a few snakes in my life and was born year of the serpent in Chinese zodiac. "In adoration of the giraffe" cello suite for Meredith Blecha. A must play for any giraffe loving professional cellist!! Just contact me - and we'll take it from there. Okay, Muscially yours, Kathryn
When I experienced a life review, I relived in timeless glimpses, moments in my life. I ask myself, "What do these moments have in commom?"
In all the moments I am in the moment - not worrying about tomorrow, or fretting about the past. I was experiencing full and joyful gratitude for the moment that I was living. Truly living. I was riveted to the detail, beauty and magnificence of the moment. The vibration meaning my emotional state, and mental state where very awake. I was very engaged in life. My most important point I wish to emphasize is that I was fully feeling my heart and not trying to manipulate or edit my thoughts or feelings. I was there, as I was without a civil war going on between heart and head. I wasn't surpressing fear or sorrow by telling myself "happiness is a choice" which has the repressive undercurrent of " you shouldn't be feeling what you are feeling". Every feeling is a gift. Emotions are like weather. Sunny days, rainy days, are necessary. Light dark... . So the question now is, how do we get in our way of living fully? I think that's what some organized thought systems like religion and govenment try to grapple with to some extent sometimes. Personally I do not fully subscribe to any one religious or political view, or philosophical view, but I do feel quite fondly of the poetry of Rumi and I LOVE to meditate. In fact being in what I call active meditative states was how I usually was during the moments of life review. Hmm, maybe I should write a book on my personal form of meditation! This lesson inspires me to be equally present mentally and emotionally within the magnificence and beauty of sound within each moment while composing. Composing and performing within an active alive meditative state as I understand it. I have the habit of teaching that way, and starting music lessons - usually with most not all students - with meditation. I aspire to keep creating sonic worlds which embrace depth of feeling and mental clarity, fortitude with an open mind which inspires people to commune with life in a state of emotional fullness open heartedly. So, i aspire to compose more active meditations. It's freeing. To be grateful for ones feelings in the moment isn't to overlook "unpleasant feelings" it is to embrace what one is truly feeling from an emotional state, not the contrived state of emotions from thinking. From my perspective, happiness is NOT a choice! It is one of many emotional states. A posivitive attitude or a grateful for what emotion you truly have attitude which in turn influences one's emotional health is a choice, as the mind/emotional connection is a constant dance. Musically Yours, Kathryn Musically
Hello.
I love the trombone. So much so that I composed a solo trombone suite called "A hero's journey" specifically for my dear friend Heather Buchmann who incidentally became the first woman, and the youngest trombonist to become a pricipal player in a significant US orchestra. At that time she and I were students together at the S. F. Conservatory of Music. She was getting her masters, I an undergrad. Back then I wrote music for her to play and she played it so beautifully, like a brass cello. Amazing. Well, in 2006 I began composing "A hero's journey" not because, the muse tapped me on the shoulder and whispered (or roared as the case can sometimes be!) psst! but because I was going through a very depressing and daunting time in my life. My attraction to the trombone is it's essential attributes: herioc, victorious, invinsible, mysterious, deep, poignant, gorgeous, sleek, capable, inspiring, androgynous, compelling, bold yet elegant. Really! How did we get so lucky to live in a world with trombones. Heather, I can't help but notice seems to have all the attributes of a trombone. It is so fantastic how human beings take on, more and more, the characteristics - the essential qualities, of the instruments they play. Playing an instrument is STRONG medicine! Personally, I believe that part of our job on earth as human beings is to celebrate these essential qualities of instruments by playing and personifying them - like Heather with the trombone. I'll even go so far as to say that the UNIVERSE invites us to brings these glorious qualities forth personally, culturally, as earthlings, AND as members of the universe. We magnify out into the entire universe the essential qualities of the instrument when we play it. Play on my musical friends, play on! If you don't play and instrument, you can either start, or listen to them all, or both! (I don't know about the banjo though - LOL take that Hilary...) So, back to the Hero's journey... I composed it because I needed to hear the trombone in my minds ear and within my entire being. I needed that medicine. As a result, woke up, and fell to sleep with the imagined sound of the trombone, like a cheer leader, encouraging me to take that leap, learn to fly, move forward, live more, liberate myself. Alas, I may never hear Heather play the piece as she is focusing well on her conducting! So, perhaps someone else might, although I'd need to edit it. hmmm, not too difficult. Musically Yours, Kathryn P.S. (You are welcome to follow me on twitter should that please you; there I go by composerKJP, or on facebook Kathryn J. Potter )
Where does light come from?
This perplexed Albert Einstein, and it fascinates me. I was commissioned to compose an oboe and pipe organ piece for a Christmas Eve service at St.Mark's Lutheran Church in Asheville NC back in 2006. As a vivacious snooper into the realms of cross cultural religions and a former employee of the Astronomical society of the Pacific, I had a field day!!!!! First of all, the star in the east was a conjunction of Jupiter, and Venus, shining incredible light for the duration of the conjunction. It is possible that it caused a ringing sound. This occured around the time of the summer solstice. Light light light. Intriqued by the harmony of the spheres, the appearance out of light seemingly out of no where, - like light beings, angels, auras, etc. and the plethora of mythology about light, plus the virtue of pagan celebration of the return of light and the "merging" rather than intended eclipsing of judeo christian patriarcal intention (boo) i composed this first movement which is for solo pipe organ. I constructed it so that the organist has an envelope full timing choices in order to taylor the piece to fit the service. In this recording which was in a performance of my works, I told the organist to "pull out all the stops" - oh sorry, I couldn't resist the pun.... and to play this movement at it's maximum durations of clusters and silences. I hope you will enjoy the piece - which you can hear on the works page, later on here when I upload it again. Musically Yours Kathryn
In adoration of the earth is a series of music I work on from time to time.
So far the following has been composed: Orchestral: "Agigua" - Which is in adoration of the third Oldest river in the world - now called the "French Broad" String 4tet: "Listening to an ancient forest" Solo double bass: "Hawk in flight" (oboe or treble clef version available) Solo oboe (and other compatable instruments) : "Fox", "Viper", "Sea turtle", "Cheetah" Oboe duets: Three duets of "The secrets of ravens" - forth as solo and duet currently underway in progress (working on the fourth movement) Solo Cello - suite for Meredith Blecha - "In adoration of the giraffe" okay, I'm now taking requests ... anything natural Musically yours, Kathryn
Last night, well early this morning actually, I had a dream that I was riding a magnificent, strong, powerful, muscular, gorgeous white horse. I was riding with a group of people on a wooden bridge. (I've been having a lot of terrifying bridge dreams of late.) In my dream, I and the other riders took a flying leap off of the bridge (about a 7 foot drop) into a rapid river that was at that point low enough for our powerful horses to cantor into and up stream. It was exhilarating.
So, this reminds me of a three movement duet that I started in 2004 and finished composing in 2005 called "Dreams of the White Horse" for oboe and double bass. (It requires professional level skill to play - those who are seriously interested may contact me for the score. Also - this duet will be part of a book of duets for oboe and double bass comprised of duets for beginners to virtuosic players.) The first movement is "Scent" with the full title being "The scent of fear and passion in the open sky". This was inspired/instigated by a comment an oboe student at the time made who was/is an equestrian, saying, "horses can smell emotion".Wow. That set my imagination off!!! In this movement you'll hear spaces of silence, then fearful rustlings, a passionate melody that reoccurs throughout the three movements, and more. I started composing it ie: hearing it in my head while I was driving from Colorado to Wyoming. To understand the creative process of this composition, I imagined that I was a horse and I imagined as a horse, what it was like to see, smell emotion, cantor over the land in the SW and to run myself to death, and to continue running into the spirit realm. Serious fun! The second movement: "Cantoring" starts out with solo bass, repeats with oboe in a different meter. The parts interweave and intersect at times, full of cantoring rhythms and fire. The third movement: "Flight" is mysterious and melodic, free, unmetered. I was thinking about the blue road of spirit and flight into other realms. Okay - students are here - more later. Musically Yours, Kathryn P.S. (The book of oboe and double bass duets is scheduled to be completed and released in the end of 2010 or early 2011. Stay tuned! I'm looking forward to recording all of them with my partner Eliot.)
1) Fear of empty spaces: electronic sounds sculpture
Back when I was a student as SFCofM, my friend Gidi Meir, suggested that I create a piece about "Fear of empty spaces". Fast forward to 2009 and I finally did. Now I need to reconnect with him. Because Gidi is a phenomenal harpsichordist, I made sure to incorporate harpsichord sounds. I decided to use humor as another emotional ingredient in order to provide contrast, and to open doorways deeper into fear. While creating electronic sounds sculptures I like to use a three layer approach, as I do while creating food, soups, or exotic oil fragrances. I simply satirized our current culture - faster, louder, more active - as a way to avoid the emptiness, but the feelings keep creaping in non the less. It ends unresolved - because it's about fear and it's suposed to be unsettling. 2) Pipe organ and oboe piece: acoustic performance, performed by Dr. Vance Reese on the All Souls Cathedral pipe organ in Asheville NC, and myself on oboe. This piece was originally called "Tongues of Fire" and was commissioned by St. Mark's Lutheran Church in Asheville NC. I was limited to a 5 minute prelude to prepare the hearts for both Pentecost and confirmation Sunday, depict the story of Pentecost, and not be too weird. Frankly, I'm very proud of myself, as I feel I executed the assignment to the t! Dr. Reese was fabulous to work with and the congregation really loved it. We call it "Schezuan Lutheran". Since I was raised Lutheran as a child, I grew to appreciate the music of Bach in sacred context, grew to appreciate the teaching of forging a unique, independent and personal relationship with God/Great Spirit - through ones own deep exploration emotionally/philosophically/intellectually rather than subscribe to any set ideology. Now as an adult, I listen respectfully to the beliefs and views of others and enjoy a wildly ranging set of vastly different modes of thought from atheism, mysticism, many forms of religion, and general confusion. Personally, as long as we humans continue to use an average of 2% of our brain, I take it all in stride! In short, I love life and this mysterious creation with it's myriad of realities. I respect and enjoy human ritual although I do not subscribe to any specific set of organized thought. My only concern is the basic human arrogance that kills others who think differently than another subset of humans. Religion is a weapon when used divisively or to dominate which is too often, but not always the case. 3) The legend of how water learned to fly - acoustic bass solo - recording of Eliot Wadopian bassist - www.eliotwadopian.com This is the first movement of a 5 movement suite for double bass which is a 20 minute or so journey that shows off what the double bass can do. (Oh that purring bottom feeder of the orchestra!) Eliot is fabulous at pizz, and a great jazzer, so i had to start off with some pizz. In this piece i wrote out what my muse dished out. I would wake up hearing this in my head, I'd hear it folding laundry, driving in the car, day and night. I wrote out what I imagined and what I needed to hear come out of this magnificent string creature. As you can hear, I celebrated the range, emotional voice, pizz, and double stops. I went for the real bass sounds, not wanna be cello style of bass writing. Hope you enjoy it. okay, more later. Musically yours, Kathryn
This week I finally reconnected with some classmates from SFCofM. It's a significant joy for me in a myriad of ways. Let's face it, people who go there, don't have a half hearted relationship with music, so I'm fascinated to learn a bit about how music is a significant part of their lives now and what they are doing musically. They are all musicians I admire.
One of the conversations stemming from an email volley with a fellow composer got me thinking about how composing like swimming in emotional waters. Sometimes I've had to drop a composition in order to return to it later with more techincal skill. Once however, when composing my first string 4tet, I was in over my emotional head. The waters were too strong for me to swim emotionally. I had tapped into a deep personal pool of emotion where the current was too strong for me to remain in long enough for extended periods of time, to swim. The grief was overwhelming and the emotions too unresolved. I surprised myself not realizing up to that point that there was a storm I could drown. I may return to that pool, that storm, when I'm a stronger swimmer which is more life maturity. But, as I mature as an emotional person, and emotionally as an artist, I realize that I become more open to so much more sweetness, nuance, tenderness, and so on... The texture of emotions and delicacy of emotions take off like a garden in the springtime. My technical skill will always be chasing after my imaginative and emotional maturation throughout my life, I feel quite certain. This is welcomed. Also, i recognize that my "swimming" abilities continue to need perpetually increase as my awareness of emotional realms perpetually unfold. swimming... Just like I read literature, poetry and essays to expand my intellectual and emotional relationship with life, I find consistently that deep practice, listening, and creating music deepens the emotional realm - like hunting and gathering spices for the pantry of emotional living. New flavors, new scents, new worlds. Amazing. swim What was that character in the finding Nemo film, Nori was it? keep on swimming, keep on swimming. Musically yours, Kathryn
July 9, 2009 Blog: Emotional vitality through musical medicine learned by giving birth © Kathryn Potter For me, music is strong medicine and it significantly affects my emotional health which in turn influences my mental and physical health. Spending time learning, practicing, teaching, and most of all creating music strengthens the dosage of potency of musical medicine. Even just hearing music in passing has a strong effect on me. Now, imagine hearing it in your head for days, weeks, sometimes months or years! Giving birth 100% naturally has influenced my relationship with creating music more than anything else. Applying the lesson towards music (for years) has lead to personal musical medicine in a most liberating way. That is so because I learned in an immediate and intense way to allow - without any resistance - to feel all physical and emotional sensation while giving birth in order to move through it successfully. I welcomed and celebrated ALL physical and emotional sensations to the best of my ability even if it felt like I would split in half and die or be completely overcome with emotion. I did not split in half and die. Instead, I gave birth in 3 hours very smoothly without ripping and without my blood pressure going up, without the slightest complication. The hospital staff thought the equipment broke! No, I did well. ; <>So when it comes to music, I feel it is critical to embrace and welcome ALL emotional feeling as clearly as possible, to celebrate, and to give homage, to voice, honor and recognize. To embrace all emotional feeling and all sonic sensations – in order to give birth to the most advanced form of human emotional renaissance, in an organic balanced rather than distorted or partially repressed way. When I compose, I try my best to allow the sincerity of my emotions without emotional editing, but rather putting all editing towards the perfect sculpture to honor the integrity of the emotional language and content. Okay, enough words, now time to compose more. Musically Yours, Kathryn
For years I've been composing suites for virtuosic instrumentalists and right now I'm composing an oboe suite specifically for myself to play with as much challenge and enjoyment as possible.
Working on it is like a dream come true, it's like creating a custom fit dress to wear dancing the dance to my own drummer. It has the tonality and chromaticism my heart craves, the leaps and lyricism my heart craves, the feeling of exploration, adventure, and mysticism my heart craves. Ahhhhhh Musically Yours, Kathryn
Inspiration. To be in the spirit.
So, what brings me in the spirit? What inspires me? What inspires me to live, and what inspires me to compose? How do I find and "become" inspired? What is spirit? The first lecture I heard my first composition teacher, Karel Husa, give was about inspiration. He said, "You must always know what inspires you! Music comes out of inspiration." The gist of the lecture is that our job our work as composers is to turn inspiration into sound and of course know what spirit is. I agree whole heartedly. If so called music does not come out of inspiration then it's noise. Noise is like loveless sex instead of lovemaking as far as I'm concerned and to spend ones time making noise instead of music, or sex instead of love making is a waste of time from my perspective. My dear friend Don Andrew - may he rest in peace - had the motto "Do everything with love." To do anything with out love, is to waste ones life. I feel that inspiration is the creative current and driving force in the universe fueled by magnificent gratitude. It's not just love, it's love in action. It's the door opener of the heart and the joy shining out of eyes. It's what moves the lips into a smile and what pushes us over the edge to make that phone call, take that journey, conceive that child, spend an extra hour or two perfecting a hand made gift, lifting the heart out of furry and into compassionate forgiveness; it's welcoming a new day sincerely. Inspiration is not to be confused with ambition. Ambition as I see it is fueled from a sense of feelings of inadequacy whereas inspiration is bringing forth sublime universal love. To bring forth universal love is the only way to live that isn't a waste of time or the energizing of "evil" - evil being to be outside, rather than coming from inside, of the center of the heart of love and gratitude, the pure wellspring of life. More than anything, I feel that inspiration is appreciation and deeply heart felt gratitude for life which can overcome any negative obstacle or pessimism. How does a person overcome an addiction that cuts one off from feelings and connection with life? I believe it has to be through inspiration, to live for life itself. To live for intrinsic life; the beauty inherent within all life itself, not just for something depicted outside in life. Inspiration is real gratitude for here and now as it is, not ambition to achieve a specific accomplishment. Real inspiration can and does set action in motion when called forth. My understanding of the word "Ishq" is inspiration as I have just defined it. I have named my oboe "Ishq". My intention is that when I play, it is a celebration of the feelings and thoughts and chapters real, imagined, etc in the fabric of my life. I believe it's best to not judge feelings, but rather, to feel them. As a composer, I allow myself to feel and recognize my feelings as purely as possible and with gratitude. I like to think of emotional nuance like colors, shades, flavors, fragrances .... All are gifts of life. I also believe it is best to live life rather than judge it and to allow others to live their life without judgement. My emotions are clay, granite, wood, metal,precious gems etc, for the art of composing my sound sculptures and manuscripts. My skill and training and thoughts are all tools necessary to create my sculptures, but it is the inspiration that gives it all shape, purpose and meaning and transforms clay into music. Vitality creates vitality. To merely arrange objects or to literally translate feelings is journalism - just conveying the facts, but it is inspiration that is what turns mere journalism into poetry. To compose, one needs to have one foot in journalism and the other in the inspired world ie the poetic world, and to dance accordingly. A poet is an inspired dancer, a journalist is walking with both feet in the world of facts. A great composer I believe needs a journalist foot and a poets foot because our job is to bridge the worlds so men and angels can merrily mix and mingle. Music is the elixer to ingesting a great dose of inspiration providing the music is created and performed with inspiration. All the training, practice, and work is to serve inspiration. Inspired and masterful composers that inspire me are: Crumb, Machaut, Stravinski, Bach, Liszt, Piazzola, Schumann and more thankfully. Telemann, Bartok, Ravel, Bryd, Mahler. Inspired and masterful instrumentalists inspire me as well. Yes you cellist Meredith Blecha! Yes you trombonist Heather Buchman, yes you bassist Eliot Wadopian, yes you harpsichordist Gideon Meir. There are more people thankfully but I haven't composed for them yet unlike the above listing. Yes, I am very inspired by virtuosic players. To me a virtuosic player is an instrumentalist who plays so well, the heaven within myself bursts through me when I hear them play because the have learned to play well enough to get out of the way of the walls that keep the purity of inspiration from flowing magnificently. Someone playing out of tune or with bad technique, gets in the way of the waterfall. They might be standing in it, but they aren't dishing it out for others to drink! Big difference and my argument FOR vivacious commitment and study within conservatories and musical traditions. Inspiration is NOT enough in order to dish out an inspired musical experience to others. One must have enough technique to convey the spirit within the created sounds. That said, I must confess one of the most inspired performances I've heard in life was by a 3 year old piano student of mine who had enough understanding and technique to purely convey her understanding - which was magnificent - of the rainbow, in a piano improvisation. I believe her innocence and pure love without ambition embued with her adaquate technique to achieve the assigment, made this possible. She was not in her way, nor was her technique. So the flip side of study, is HOW one studies, to enable freedom, not getting stuck in a box, or trapped in the drawer of tools. Specific instruments inspire me. I believe that the purpose of a musical instrument is to bring forth sacred qualities within the people who play them, hear them and compose for them. - More in a nother blog. Okay, that's enough for today. Musically yours, Kathryn |
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